Avoiding Depression During the Holidays

Unfortunately, many people will buy into the pressures of cool ads and catchy jingles when it comes to Black Friday and Christmas or whichever holiday they celebrate this time of year. Many people feel compelled to run up their credit cards and to rob Peter to pay Paul. Some will spend rent, light bill and other bill money on gifts and toys, many of which the children won't look at after a week.

How can you remain sane during this season? Something that I started with my children when they were young was that we would have 7 days of celebration. You could certainly modify that to two or three days. Starting 7 days before Christmas they would each get a gift daily. This way they got the opportunity to really connect with that one thing each day. They really liked the idea of doing something different than their acquaintances and friends. We also would spend time talking about how blessed they were to get what they had. The best gift was given on the day before Christmas.

Another way to change the family focus is to volunteer to help others less fortunate than you. Help out at a soup kitchen, volunteer to help a senior citizen who lives near you to clean up or to cook. Make sweet treats with holiday decorations. Sell them to make some extra money and to brighten others days. Make holiday cards with your kids for children in the hospital to share good will. Volunteer at your child's school to share in the spirit of giving.

If you can't really afford to spend money on pre-made gifts, I have certainly seen people use their natural gifts and abilities to give gifts. For example, if you draw well, you can spend less than $4.00 on paper and draw really nice pictures to give as gifts. Buy string or thin ribbon at a dollar store so that you can roll it as a scroll. Another idea is if you bake well, you can spend less than $10 to bake cookies or mini cakes and to buy containers to put them in at the dollar store.

An additional idea is consider giving gift coupons like, Three Free Hours of Babysitting, Skip Dish Washing Coupon, Free Hair Cut, a Free Nail Polishing Coupon and more.

Remember, you can make the holidays what you want them to be. You don't have to follow the a crowd, make it your own!

• Spend time with others
• Do fun things you enjoy
• Help others/Give your gifts to others
• Get out of the house
• Listen to music that makes you smile
• Make a holiday plan that makes sense and in your budget
• Remember to exercise to keep your spirits lifted
• Read 10 Ways to be a Great Parent

Happy holidays! Make this an unforgettable one. 

Child Therapy but No Parent Therapy???

Why mommy, why? Why am I going to therapy for my perceived problems but you're not going to learn how to help me with my perceived problems? Why aren't you going to therapy to learn to cope with the challenges facing our family? Why, daddy, why? 

Most times, many people, including me, before I learned better, think that if they have a child that is struggling with issues that require mental health help that the only person who should be seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist is that child.

In working in psychiatric hospitals, it is my experience that a grave number of parents only seek support for their child. I have heard people say things like, "I don't have a problem. I can't wait until he's better so our family can be perfect again." While there are various factors that can lead to mental illnesses, often times it can be genetic. It can be derived from either parents lineage, even from a relative you've never met. It can also be trauma based.

Despite where it's coming from, it should be dealt with as a family problem. In other words, individual therapy and family therapy. The pressures of the world don't care who is feeling them or how they cause you to respond. You must be smart and use the resources at your disposal to keep your family whole, sane and loving.

Often times, when a child gets consistent mental health support and the parents or other siblings don't get support, the child who is now reasonable and self regulated has been returned to a home that is often lacking in need of support similar to what that child received. This is hard to accept as as parents, we might think that "We have it all together". None of us are perfect and every person has different goals. Some people strive to just get by and others recognize that self care:emotional, physical, mental, social and financial are key to having a stable life.

There are 10 Ways to Be a Great Parent. Read about it and become the best parent you can be.

While I have linked you to information about mental health, please do not attempt to diagnose yourself or loved one's. If someone in your home is suffering with what appears to likely be mental health concerns, find a psychiatrist and then a therapist who accepts your insurance. Make an appointment today for the whole family.