Anyone in a relationship has heard about cheating, knows someone who has cheated and has cheated or been cheated on. Some people have different ideas about what cheating is. I once denied strong emotions toward a person who I wasn't with when I was with another party. The truth is that there is emotional and physical cheating.
Certainly, many people would say-just give me two wives or two husbands. This way they could get more of their needs met.
People around the globe cheat and others ask, WHY. The truth is that many people cheat because they want to. Some scenario's are situational such as two people who work together, treating each other well and they end up spending large sums of time together. That organically can be escalated.
In talking to men for years, many report they feel as if it's in their nature. Some people don't have a huge problem with acknowledging the nature of their partner. Some of the biggest concerns I've heard are:
- Spending money on a person outside of the home
- STD possibility
- Breakdown in marital communication
- Falling out of love with current spouse
- Leaving a spouse for a different, younger or wealthier person
I had a conversation with someone recently and I shared that while some people implement condom usage, many won't do so for oral pleasures. So, the whole idea of, "Oh, I used a condom" goes out of the window! Sharing bodily fluids with multiple people can lead to many health problems. For a married man, it could end up in a pregnancy you didn't plan for. For a woman, the same thing applies. Then the husband gets lied too, he knows in his heart the child doesn't look or act like him but he accepts it anyway.
What are some signs of cheating?
- Lying about things that don't make any sense
- Sharp change in routines
- Texting in the middle of the night
- Going outside or to their car to talk on the phone
- Working late but not bringing home extra income
- Wearing a new cologne/perfume
- Singing in the shower
- Listening to love songs when they haven't in the past
- Refusing sex for silly reasons
- Going out or coming home with no underwear on
- Locking the bathroom door while in there with their phone
- Spending the night out without pre planning
- Putting a passcode on their phone
- Carrying their phone with them everywhere, never leaving it unattended
- Passion marks or scratches you didn't make
- Refusing to take a shower and gets in bed dressed
- Turns away from you when they routinely toward you in bed
- Not answering your calls
- Trying new sex positions out of the blue
- Coming home extremely late
- Refusing to allow spouse social media access
- Whispering on phone calls
- Creating division between you and their family or you and their friends
- Being unwilling to say where they are going or approximately when they will return
- Closing their eyes during intercourse
These are certainly not all of the signs of a cheating mate. Sometimes people will do some of these things to make you jealous. Be careful about automatically jumping to conclusions or accusing someone. Observe, research and ask questions. Do that only if you plan to take some action. If you don't plan to do anything about it, don't discuss it. Don't even bring it up.
Some have said that cheating has helped to make their marital relationship better. The way it was explained to me was that the outside person shares in fun and enjoyment without obligation-creating a sense of freedom. So, when the other party returns home with a positive attitude, smiling and enjoying life.
So, this brings up the question, should there be two husband and two wives in a relationship? I'd be interested to hear what you think.
Term: Polygamy-the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time
Tip: No matter what type of marital relationship you choose, just make sure its built on a solid foundation.
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