Appreciating Others

There comes a time when appreciating others should take place. Should it be your mom or dad, friends, teachers, the mailman? Should it be everyone who is kind and helpful? Should it be given to every thoughtful and courteous soul? Why should you even think about another human and making their day with gestures of appreciation?

While I'd love to blame it on something I saw and heard in a movie the other day about Steve Jobs, I'm not sure that the I-Mac, I-Phone, I-Pad, etcetera are all to blame for the catastrophe of people not considering others and failing to appreciate others. It is true that some people can't put down their piece of technology long enough to stop looking at their Instagram, Tic Toc, Snapchat and other apps. Does it mean that we have become a culture who no longer considers others enough to show appreciation?

As a kid, I remembered being so excited when my grandfather gave me some money to go to the Southern Po-boy shop. I thanked him so much and then gave him a big hug to boot. Granted, it was something he would do when I would ask, but I wasn't greedy, so my asking was intermittent. But, each time he did it, he could see from my response how much it meant.

Have you ever been in a relationship with a friend, a good co-worker or an intimate relationship where you began to drop the ball on things? Did you stop doing the little things and then began to wonder why the other person began to change in the relationship? Sometimes it's us. Sometimes we don't do what we should be doing to let others know how much we value them and why. Why is that?

Most children grow up with their parents or grandparents and many of them learn a stability, the stability of that person/those people showing up everyday and feeding them, loving them and taking time with them. They get used to however they are treated and the creature comforts they are treated to day in and day out. As parents and grandparents, it seems like our job is to give until there is no more breath in our bodies. Some teachers make projects out of mothers and fathers day activities. When do the children begin to appreciate the parents?

I might be wrong, but I have a few ideas about some of these things. If you have a friend who treats you well, keeps your secrets and shows you love-let them know that you love them and do things to show them that while they are alive-don't wait on them. Lead by example.

If you have a mate or spouse, learn their love language. What does it take for that person you love to feel cherished? To feel loved? If you don't know or haven't paid attention, just ask them. There are no stupid questions in love when you're focusing on making your relationship better. Show them you love them. Words can be nice, but love is also a verb so show your love in the ways they receive it best.

About the children, perhaps we must start when they are young by teaching them to do acts of kindness for one another. We should encourage the use of words or phrases like: "Thank you", "I appreciate it", "That means so much to me", "You're welcome", "How can I help", "You are appreciated", "You are a gem",  and others. We should teach them to use kind words with their peers, with their parents and in the community as a whole.

In none of these situations should we expect perfection, but if we put on our best self for family, friends and others, if nothing else-the karma should show you some kindness.

Thanks for being here. Have an absolutely wonderful day.

Shana Trahan, LPC, MEd
The Trahan Therapy Center

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