What is peaceful living?
Someone said to me the other day, "I don't deal with many people because people have lots of problems and they try to dump all of their stuff on you." I thought about it and what I came up with is the following. We teach people how to treat us according to the boundaries that we set. For example, if you are a person who likes to be aware before your guests show up and a particular person has shown up 3 different times without asking if they could come over but you don't say anything (despite the idea that you believe that they should know better) you have taught them that their behavior is okay since you remained silent. Part of you could be thinking, "I don't want to be mean or hurt their feelings." The question is, is setting boundaries hurting people's feelings? Is telling someone something that they won't agree with something that should typically hurt someone's feelings?
We all grew up differently and we have different ways of garnering respect and peace. When I speak with some clients, sometimes I say the things that some friends won't say. For example, a friend might not have shared with you that they are going through a tough time. Now you call the friend to share about the three terrible things going on in your life. Though the person is your friend (and some friends say, "It's okay, tell me everything.") they might not have the emotional capacity to handle the things going on with you and with themselves. This is why I suggest that everyone have a good therapist in their phone, on tap, close by that you see regularly.
Let's look more closely at peaceful living. A peaceful life is one when your mind is at peace. It is full of healthy boundaries implemented. It is focused on your higher power, taking care of yourself and contributing positively to the world. It is enjoying some quiet time and vacations. It is also finding happiness in the little things. Are you doing these things? Do you have a hobby or some fun activities that you enjoy that don't require you to solely sit on the sofa in front of the television?
Peaceful living is a choice. From the outside looking in, some people will not understand. Some things you can do to obtain peace of mind is to walk through forgiveness of others who have done you wrong with your therapist. Also, be honest about who you are and what you want out of life. Some people enjoy working at Walmart or in retail while others strive to become corporate executives. Whatever you choose to become, be the best at that. That is how you set yourself apart.
Peaceful living is being at one with nature and with things that God made. Loving it, being grateful for nature and how beautiful it is and spending time with animals, trees, a Fall breeze or the Carribean Sea-an unusually peaceful place for me. I was in Jamaica and I took a boat far out into the sea and I went snorkeling. When I got out of the boat and I looked around, I could not see land at all. At one point, I just closed my eyes and thought about how I felt blessed, about how great God is to have created such a magnificent sea. Being there, in the water felt so peaceful. The peace was greater than any I'd ever known.
Where is your greatest place of true peace? Not just quiet and lack of commotion. Where do you connect with the world or the earth to the degree that nothing else is at play in your thoughts?
You can have a peaceful life. It starts with knowing who you are, forgiving others and sometimes yourself for past problems and with setting healthy boundaries with those around you. Boundaries can be set in a kind way but you must be consistent with upholding them or others won't take the boundary setting seriously.
Go out and have a peaceful life.
Shana Trahan, LPC
Serving: Texas, New Mexico and Delaware
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