A new year and a new lesson
Every new year, millions of people make resolutions and set new goals all while not considering the lessons of life that they have been presented with multiple times.
You might be wondering what I am talking about. I could say it's how I see things because of growing up in church, but that wouldn't be true. This is more about what I have learned living life. Who are you and is your life going in circles?
Yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend and I described this scenario. "Since my dad died, I really haven't heard from his family like talking about it. My uncle used to call and I would call him. Unfortunately he passed away last year. But, the cousins and other aunts I spent a lot of my life with growing up with who I used to call from time to time don't call or check on me. I've decided to just leave them alone. I've decided to stop calling." My friend went on to ask, "Why are you going to let them change your character or who you are?" I exclaimed, "I am not letting them change who I am, but I have learned a lesson that they have taught me!" He goes on to say, "Don't let them change who you are naturally." In response, I shared, "I have learned that if people are your family or not and you're the only one calling to stop calling.My time is valuable and the effort it takes to reach out to people who aren't reaching out is the effort I could spend on people who are reaching out, on myself or my business ventures."
Needless to say, we didn't see things the same way, but the way I grew up, with my family being really close caused me to reach out over the years. At this point, though-I don't do social media as in my opinion it has a great potential to steal your time. Maybe it's not that they don't care but that they assume that I should be trolling their social media pages to find out about their lives. Regardless, the lesson I learned was that people who love you and care about you will seek you out albeit once a month or several times a year just to check in. So, you nor I have to look for people who aren't looking for us-family or not.
So, back to the topic at hand. Sometimes our lives will seem to go in circles, have you ever experienced that? Have you ever asked yourself, why does this keep happening to me? If so, let's discuss it. Sometimes we make a decision, the wrong decision-multiple times. Sometimes we don't determine that it's the wrong decision until we've done that thing multiple times. Sometimes we go on repeating this for years on end. Either someone we love and care about brings it to our attention or it just dawns on us that what we are doing isn't working.
Are you that person who feels inclined to believe that your thoughts and decisions are always right? Or are you the person who second guesses themselves most of the time? Are you the person who never knows until you know? It doesn't matter who you are, but there comes a time in our lives when we could read books on decision making, ask someone we believe has more life experience or seemingly a track record of making better decisions than you about what you're experiencing.
Ask yourself some key questions:
- Am I getting out of this situation what I am putting into it?
- Does doing this add to my happiness?
- Am I doing it because others expect it from me or because I alone want to do it?
- Is this something I'd like my current or future children to know that I am doing?
- Am I on a roller coaster?
- If I continue this, how will it add to my life?
- If I stop this, how will it take away from my life?
- Does what I am doing benefit one person other than myself?
- Does what I am doing benefit the masses?
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